The book 'How to Be a Friend (In an Unfriendly World): Lessons on Connection' by award-winning filmmaker Barnet Bain has been ranked #25 among the 50 Best Self-Help Books of 2025 by Balanced Achievement, an online publication focused on human wellness through spirituality, psychology, and personal development. This recognition highlights the book's relevance in addressing what the publication describes as 'one of the defining challenges of modern life'—loneliness.
Balanced Achievement notes that Bain's work offers 'a thoughtful response grounded in awareness and compassion,' reframing friendship as an ongoing practice rather than a skill to be mastered. The book draws on Bain's work at Columbia University's Spirituality Mind Body Institute, presenting connection as a way of relating that supports self-understanding, resilience, and meaning. This approach comes at a critical time when social isolation has been widely documented as a public health concern.
The book's commercial success underscores its resonance with readers. 'How to Be a Friend (In an Unfriendly World)' ranked #1 on Amazon among new releases in interpersonal relations shortly after its December 9 publication and reached #32 on Amazon's list of books about friendship. It was also named by BookBub as one of 10 Books to Help You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions, suggesting its practical utility for personal growth.
Originally developed from Bain's Columbia University master's course for psychologists, the book grew from real conversations about how people connect, listen, and maintain kindness in difficult circumstances. Bain emphasizes that the work is 'not about fixing people or performing kindness,' but rather 'remembering how to be with others (and with ourselves) even when the world feels impatient.' This distinction is significant in a self-help landscape often focused on quick fixes.
The book provides practical tools for everyday friendship, including how to listen without fixing, speak without wounding, and maintain boundaries without closing one's heart. It features familiar stories ranging from small misunderstandings to the courage required to reconnect, along with reflections designed to meet readers where they are rather than offering lofty advice. Bain describes the book as inviting readers to 'slow down, look within, and remember that friendship (like love) begins where self-judgment ends.'
Bain's background as a filmmaker behind acclaimed works like the Oscar-winning 'What Dreams May Come' and 'Jesus'—often cited by The New York Times as the most widely seen film in history—informs his approach to storytelling in the book. His message arrives during what he characterizes as 'a culture obsessed with performance and perfection,' landing 'like an exhale' for those seeking authentic connection. The book's recognition by Balanced Achievement at balancedachievement.com validates its contribution to the self-help genre while addressing a pressing social issue with practical wisdom.
